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ALIENS

 

I am a longtime disbeliever in aliens from other worlds.  I have been sailing on spaceship earth for more than half a century, and until recently I've never seen a photograph that convinced me aliens exist.

It's hard to get the truth about aliens.  People tell me the Air Force is suppressing information regarding alien visits to our world.  Some people believe aliens established a beach head in Roswell, New Mexico, but photographic documentation isn't convincing.  Photos of alien spaceships and otherworldly critters appear amateurish; anyone with minimal knowledge of Adobe Photoshop could create better images than the ones floating around in the hands of true believers.

 

One of the problems with identifying aliens is that we don't know what they look like.  Perhaps they are shaped like cashews or bananas and don't have eyes and ears.  If they look like pineapples, we should move our search to Hawaii.  If they are shaped like cans of diet coke, finding them is hopeless, because diet coke is found in every nation on the planet.  You'll have to detain a lot of coke cans and carefully interrogate each one.  That could take years, and exactly what rights do cans of diet coke have in our judicial system?  Can they be held indefinitely without representation by counsel?   Does the Geneva convention apply to aliens masquerading as cans of diet coke?

People searching for aliens are probably looking for them in the wrong places.  They have been looking for aliens in Roswell for more than fifty years and have nothing definitive to show for it.  It seems highly unlikely that turning over more rocks in Roswell will produce aliens.  If there are aliens, they probably aren't stupid, and they wouldn't keep landing in Roswell where everyone is looking for them.  Instead, they would go where people aren't looking for them, and where they would fit in completely unnoticed by the general population.  Where could they go to find such a place?  The answer is simple.  There's no better hiding places for aliens than carnival in Trinidad.

I took this photo of a possible alien in Trinidad.  He flicks his tongue in and out like a snake sniffing the air for prey.  His sharp pearly white teeth look curiously human, and I suspect that is part of his disguise.  The penetrating stare from his darting eyes is more than suspicious.  He might be shooting invisible lasers from his eyes probing the structure of my DNA, or using X-ray vision to study the molecular structure of my bones.  The most suspicious thing about this otherworldly creature is the radio antenna on the top of his head.  I'm sure he was beaming signals up to space ships hidden from our eyes by cloaking devices.  The alien was obviously intelligent, because he knew the cardinal principle of all aliens: always hide in plain site.  Don't run or jump into dumpsters to hide from people.  Simply strut bravely down the street with a can of beer in your hand, just like all the non-aliens.

I hope the Air Force sends a team down to Trinidad to investigate these unusual life forms.  With the help of these photographs, the aliens should be easy to locate.  If the Air Force drops the ball and only issues denials, we will make a call to CNN and the wire services.  I'm sure they would send a team of investigative journalists to get to the bottom of the alien cover-up.

In spite of the aliens, life is still good.
 


Log 1 Peter Pan Around the World
Log 2 Weapons of Mackerel Destruction
Log 3 Pirates of the Malacca Straits
Log 4 Kissing Cobras
Log 5 Debriosaurus Rex
Log 6 Go Ahead - Live Your Dreams

Log 7 The Man Who Built His House on a Rock
Log 8 Ambivalent Eagles
Log 9 One-Shovel Full at a Time
Log 10 Hitchhiker's Guide to Planet Earth

Log 11 Keeshond

Log 12 The Red Sea Blues

Log 13 Feel the Freedom

Log 14 The Danger Zone

Log 15 Lucky Man
Log 16 Dream Machines - Land Rover Defenders

Log 17 Trade Wind Dreams
Log 18 Logs With Fins
Log 19 Everywhere, Everything
Log 20 Shark Slayer Is History

Log 21 Viking Funeral - Burial at Sea
Log 22 Improbable and Impossible

Log 23 Keep on Trucking
Log 24 Dream Machines II
Log 25 Bodysurfing Whales
Log 26 Hitting the Wall
Log 27 Surviving the Savage Seas

Log 28 The Next Step
Log 29 Welcome to Barbados
Log 30 Atlantic Rally for Cruisers
Log 31 The Man with the Unplan
Log 32 Dali Dolphins
Log 33 Flying Like a Turtle
Log 34 The Foolish Man Built His House on a Pitch Lake
Log 35 Go West Young Man
Log 36 Crossing the Atlantic in a Row Boat
Log 37 The Unsinkable HMS Diamond Rock
Log 38 Catamaran Capsize in 170 mph Winds
Log 39 When Are You Coming Home?

Log 40 Master and Commander of Anegada - Frigate Birds
Log 41 Baths of Virgin Gorda - Batholiths of Central Arabia

Log 42 Free at Last
Log 43 Stalking the Wild Manatee

Log 44 Spreaderman
Log 45 Attack of the Flesh Eating Bees
Log 46 Sharks and Coconuts
Log 47 Stingray Picnic
Log 48 Boo Boo Hill
Log 49 Whale Slayers
Log 50 Noddies (Not Naughty)

 

Log 51 Exumas Land and Sea Park
Log 52 David and Goliath
Log 53 Turquoise Clouds of Paradise

Log 54 Momma Nightjar
Log 55 Maximillian The Great
Log 56 Chiton Kingdom
Log 57 Flying and Holding On
Log 58 Far Horizons
Log 59 Clouds Are a Sailor's Friend
Log 60 Getting Connected
Log 61 Fear
Log 62 Grand Schemes and Other Important Things
Log 63 If Jellyfish Had a Brain
Log 64 Cousins That Don't Kiss
Log 65 Swimming With Sharks
Log 66 Perfect the Way You Are
Log 67 Space Travelers
Log 68 Aliens
Log 69 Monsters of the Mind
Log 70 My Butterfly Collection
Log 71 Somewhere Other Than Here Societies
Log 72 Five-Hundred Pound Spiders
Log 73 Red Sea Sunsets
Log 74 Gibraltar Sunrise
Log 75 Big Sea - Small Ship
Log 76 Just Cruising
Log 77 Castle Mania
Log 78 You Must Know the Sea
Log 79 Flying Like a Goat
Log 80 The Joy of Photography
Log 81 Universal Camouflage
Log 82 My Rainbow Collection
Log 83 Indian Ocean Reward
Log 84 Fiber W
Log 85 Turkish Reflections
Log 86 Mirrors and Mirages
Log 87 Lycean Tombs Rock
Log 88 Rigging Emergency
Log 89 Pamukkale
Log 90 Volcano Land
Log 91 Sniffing the Air
Log 92 Why I Don't Kite Surf
Log 93 Resurrecting Exit Only in Turkey
Log 94 Greased Pole Competition
Log 95 Tsunami Damage
Log 96 Afraid of Living
Log 97 Living on the Edge
Log 98 Borneo Adventure
Log 99 Uligamu Tree Tender with Full Benefits
Log 100 God's Fireworks Display

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