I can't believe what I just heard. Someone told me that image is
everything. That means I am a disaster area and need to call FEMA
for emergency assistance.
Just look at me.
My hair is falling out, and horror of horrors, I'm going bald on top.
I can't believe it's happening to me. To make matters even worse, my
hair is turning gray. Image Central says I need a toupe and hair
Look at all my wrinkles. I'm not a prune face yet, but
wrinkles are popping up everywhere. I think that some of my wrinkles
have wrinkles. Image Central says it's time for plastic surgery.
Take a look at the spare tire around my waist. Image Central says
there's a six-pack hidden in there somewhere, and it's time for liposuction
and a big workout at Gold's Gym.
Take a look at my eyes. I've got bags under them, and I'm wearing
glasses. Image Central says it's time for a lower lid bleparoplasty,
probably a full face lift, and definitely laser surgery to get rid of those
Take a look at my pale skin. Image Central says I need to go to the
tanning salon, or at least, purchase a can of spray on tan.
I am a physician, and I learned long ago that it's always worth getting a
second opinion. We've heard from Image Central, so let's get some
different input. Maybe Image Central is biased and more interested
in my wallet than in me.
Let's ask my Malaysian feathered friend at the top of this page for his
I just got off the phone with him in Langkawi, and he told me that I was perfect just the
way I am. I didn't need plastic surgery, a hair piece, hair coloring,
or laser surgery.
What a relief. I couldn't afford all that plastic surgery, and I'm
allergic to pain. Plus, when I'm sailing around the world on a
yacht, no one cares what my face looks like, or whether I have a
My friend, the bird, said everyone in the entire world is perfect the way
they are, and I'm inclined to agree with him. Image Central wants to
make all of us feel bad about ourselves so they can get our money.
I've grown to like my wrinkles because they tell the story of my life.
I don't need to go to a palm reader to read my life lines. I can look
at my wrinkles all by myself with a smile on my face because they show that I've have
lived long and prospered. My balding head and gray hair are also good
news. Some of my friends never lived long enough to get either.
Thank you Mr. Bird. You're right. I'm perfect just the way I am,
and life is good.