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MAXIMILLIAN THE GREAT



I am MAXIMILLIAN THE GREAT, the most beautiful Iguana in the Bahamas and possibly the entire world.  I was featured on the cover of Iguana Magazine which is read by iguanas everywhere.  Maximillian isn't my scientific name, and you can just call me Max.  I am the star of the world famous web site Maxingout.com.  Behind every great website is a beautiful iguana, or at least there should be.

For iguanas image is everything.  Take a look at me strutting my stuff.  I'm a bit tired of the beach paparazzi eternally pestering me with their telephoto lenses, but that is the price I pay for glory.  No matter where I go everyone's eyes are on me, and I can understand why.  From the top of scaly head to the tip of my slithering tail I am  BEAUTIFUL.




Female iguanas love me; this is the pose I use to knock them dead.  I have a one-pack on my belly that is pure muscle.  My arms ripple with power, and my legs are simply awesome.  I have been working out at the island gym climbing the bushes and palm trees five or six hours every day, and all that work is paying off.  You won't see another iguana with better biceps and triceps.  I can do a thousand pushups and not even break a sweat.

How do you like my body jewelry?  I had some body piercing done last year by the rangers at the Exumas Land and Sea Park.  They obviously knew that I was the most beautiful iguana, and that's why they placed the red and yellow jewelry on the frill of my neck.  Those jewels are really expensive - they are the crown jewels of Iguana Land which means I am the King.  I heard the rangers talking about the crown jewels - they said they were made of plastic and will last a lifetime.  Plastic must be one of the most expensive and rare gems on planet earth.




I'm sure that God loves iguanas more than He loves other animals, and that's why He made me so beautiful.  Look at my regal nose and lizard lips.  This face has royalty written all over it.  I've been thinking about taking a title - something like "Your Royal Lowness" seems appropriate.  Although I don't have thousands of minions in my royal domain, I do have one Loyal Critter in my Royal Court.  That's the Royal Fly sitting on my head.  He's always there listening to everything I say, laughing at my jokes, and awestruck by my royal decrees.

How do you like the blue eye shadow around my eye?  Speaking of eyes, do you know how to get the red out?  I have gone to the Royal Ophthalmologist dozens of times and my eyes are still bloodshot. I think all the partying finally caught up with me.

 

Do you have any idea how long it takes to put on my makeup each day?  Although my face is the stuff dreams are made of, it takes hours to apply all that makeup.  I have over twelve different colors, and just when I get it right, I start sweating, and the makeup runs.
 



I hope you notice my fingernails.  Those aren't stick-on claws.  They are the real thing.  It's a big problem when I break a nail, because I have to wait for a new one to grow out.  When that happens, I stick my finger in the sand so no one notices the broken nail, because in Iguana Land image really is everything.

I could go on about how wonderful I am and how much the other iguanas love me, but such self-aggrandizing conversation shouldn't come from royal lips.  But it's ok if you tell me about my grace and glory.  I'm all ears.  Whoops.  I don't have ears; I have ear holes.  So I'm all ear holes.

I hope you come back and visit me again.  I'm the brains behind this operation, and this is where you come if you want to talk to mission control and see ME in all my glory.

Life is good.

 


Log 1 Peter Pan Around the World
Log 2 Weapons of Mackerel Destruction
Log 3 Pirates of the Malacca Straits
Log 4 Kissing Cobras
Log 5 Debriosaurus Rex
Log 6 Go Ahead - Live Your Dreams

Log 7 The Man Who Built His House on a Rock
Log 8 Ambivalent Eagles
Log 9 One-Shovel Full at a Time
Log 10 Hitchhiker's Guide to Planet Earth

Log 11 Keeshond

Log 12 The Red Sea Blues

Log 13 Feel the Freedom

Log 14 The Danger Zone

Log 15 Lucky Man
Log 16 Dream Machines - Land Rover Defenders

Log 17 Trade Wind Dreams
Log 18 Logs With Fins
Log 19 Everywhere, Everything
Log 20 Shark Slayer Is History

Log 21 Viking Funeral - Burial at Sea
Log 22 Improbable and Impossible

Log 23 Keep on Trucking
Log 24 Dream Machines II
Log 25 Bodysurfing Whales
Log 26 Hitting the Wall
Log 27 Surviving the Savage Seas

Log 28 The Next Step
Log 29 Welcome to Barbados
Log 30 Atlantic Rally for Cruisers
Log 31 The Man with the Unplan
Log 32 Dali Dolphins
Log 33 Flying Like a Turtle
Log 34 The Foolish Man Built His House on a Pitch Lake
Log 35 Go West Young Man
Log 36 Crossing the Atlantic in a Row Boat
Log 37 The Unsinkable HMS Diamond Rock
Log 38 Catamaran Capsize in 170 mph Winds
Log 39 When Are You Coming Home?

Log 40 Master and Commander of Anegada - Frigate Birds
Log 41 Baths of Virgin Gorda - Batholiths of Central Arabia

Log 42 Free at Last
Log 43 Stalking the Wild Manatee

Log 44 Spreaderman
Log 45 Attack of the Flesh Eating Bees
Log 46 Sharks and Coconuts
Log 47 Stingray Picnic
Log 48 Boo Boo Hill
Log 49 Whale Slayers
Log 50 Noddies (Not Naughty)

 

Log 51 Exumas Land and Sea Park
Log 52 David and Goliath
Log 53 Turquoise Clouds of Paradise

Log 54 Momma Nightjar
Log 55 Maximillian The Great
Log 56 Chiton Kingdom
Log 57 Flying and Holding On
Log 58 Far Horizons
Log 59 Clouds Are a Sailor's Friend
Log 60 Getting Connected
Log 61 Fear
Log 62 Grand Schemes and Other Important Things
Log 63 If Jellyfish Had a Brain
Log 64 Cousins That Don't Kiss
Log 65 Swimming With Sharks
Log 66 Perfect the Way You Are
Log 67 Space Travelers
Log 68 Aliens
Log 69 Monsters of the Mind
Log 70 My Butterfly Collection
Log 71 Somewhere Other Than Here Societies
Log 72 Five-Hundred Pound Spiders
Log 73 Red Sea Sunsets
Log 74 Gibraltar Sunrise
Log 75 Big Sea - Small Ship
Log 76 Just Cruising
Log 77 Castle Mania
Log 78 You Must Know the Sea
Log 79 Flying Like a Goat
Log 80 The Joy of Photography
Log 81 Universal Camouflage
Log 82 My Rainbow Collection
Log 83 Indian Ocean Reward
Log 84 Fiber W
Log 85 Turkish Reflections
Log 86 Mirrors and Mirages
Log 87 Lycean Tombs Rock
Log 88 Rigging Emergency
Log 89 Pamukkale
Log 90 Volcano Land
Log 91 Sniffing the Air
Log 92 Why I Don't Kite Surf
Log 93 Resurrecting Exit Only in Turkey
Log 94 Greased Pole Competition
Log 95 Tsunami Damage
Log 96 Afraid of Living
Log 97 Living on the Edge
Log 98 Borneo Adventure
Log 99 Uligamu Tree Tender with Full Benefits
Log 100 God's Fireworks Display

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This web site is a companion to Outback and Beyond.com.

http://www.outbackandbeyond.com